Shared kitchens have a way of revealing a lot about your housemates. Most of the time, everything runs fairly smoothly. Other times, you can tell something is about to go wrong purely from the words being said.
Certain phrases, when heard from behind a closed kitchen door, tend to signal that things may not be going entirely to plan.
Here are some of the worst things to hear when your housemate is cooking.
1. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this under control.”
Often said just before it becomes very clear that they do not, in fact, have this under control.
2. “It smells fine to me.”
A sentence that usually means everyone else should probably open a window immediately.
3. “How long does chicken take again?”
The question you hear moments after they’ve already put it in the pan. Often when they’ve decided to cook for you.
4. “I’m just winging it.”
No recipe, no measurements, and now no clear exit strategy.
5. “Is it supposed to be making that noise?”
At which point the noise has escalated from gentle sizzling to something closer to a warning signal. Maybe it’s just the fire alarm.
6. “Where’s the fire extinguisher?”
A phrase that immediately raises more questions than it answers.
7. “I think it’s supposed to look like this.”
It almost certainly is not.
8. “Can someone open a window?”
Usually requested at the exact moment the smoke alarm starts to join the conversation.
9. “I didn’t realise it was still frozen.”
Said while trying to salvage a rapidly defrosting situation. Sometimes said after serving.
10. Silence.
Sometimes the most worrying thing of all is when the kitchen suddenly goes quiet.
Shared kitchens have their fair share of successful meals, but it’s often these small moments of uncertainty that everyone remembers most clearly.
